The Bachelor - Episode 5

ABC/Mark Coffey

ABC/Mark Coffey

 

And we're back! 

We kick off tonight's episode where we left off last week - CORINNE V. TAYLOR. 

The girls get cozy by the fire while Taylor tries to explain to Corinne what emotional maturity is. The rest of the girls basically just sit in the house and talk about this. Is anyone with Nick? Is ANYONE here for the right reasons??

Finally, we see Nick. He's with Corinne, and she's spending her minute with Nick talking about Taylor. Can't wait to see how this showdown ends. 

The girls, who all look really cold and sleepy, line up for the rose ceremony. I'm sad to see Sarah go, especially because I had her going further than this in my Bachelor bracket. Naturally, Corinne and Taylor get roses. Drama continues. 

The Bachelor babes head to New Orleans and we get our first date card. Rachel gets the one on one! Yay! 

Their date starts off with them eating oysters while sexy blues music plays. Nick uses the term "explosive chemistry" to explain their relationship. Okay, Nick. But seriously, they are really cute together. Rachel is definitely final four material...or future Bachelorette material...

We head to the evening portion of the date, and the two drink beer out of stemless wine glasses and have a serious discussion about their families. Nick shares that he's 'super into' Rachel. Which I think is Bachelor-speak for love. Because I'm a sucker for this shit. 

Back at the house, we get the group date card which omits two names: Taylor and Corinne. TWO ON ONE TIME!!

But first, we go on a haunted group date and play ouija. Basically this date is a 6th grade sleepover. This is horrifying and I would risk not getting a rose to not participate in this date. Danielle M. gets the group date rose. Zzzzz..

Finally, we get to the two on one date. We visit the bayou, or as Corinne calls it, the jungle. Corinne tells Nick that she was 'emotionally attacked' by Taylor, as Taylor gets her cards read. They switch roles, and Corinne asks if she can make a voodoo doll of Taylor. 

Corinne can't believe that Taylor is a mental health counselor and I have to agree here. This girl is just as much of a bully. I secretly hope they both go home. 

Nick sits down with the two girls and picks up the rose. DUN DUN DUNNN. He starts a speech about how he wants to find the right connection, yada yada yada. WHO GETS THE ROSE, NICK? 

After a few more dramatic pauses, Nick gives the rose to CORINNE. The villain lives to see another day. Corinne and Nick ride away on a boat while Taylor sits in the swamp alone surrounded by bugs and gators. 

Nick and Corinne go to dinner and after a few minutes of talking, Taylor pulls a Chad and joins them. 

TO BE CONTINUED...for the fifth time this season. 

 

Next week, Nick cries. See you then. 

 

Fave quote of the night:

"That's not what I'm talking about you dumb bitch."
 

Samantha Schatz